Be advised

Nov 24, 2015 · 4 min read

Someone somewhere saw my post about how people don't know even their own email addresses. He approached me telling how he doesn't have this problem, and with instructions of ways I could get rid of the problem too. Not really the point of my post, but thanks anyways.

Be advised -- Mervi Emilia

He tried to force me a thought that I should not use gmail, nor use firstname.lastname combo. Sort of like if someone keeps sending to my postal address mail intended to another person, and the solution was that I would change my address. I was being advised about how to avoid other people from making mistakes. I didn't ask for this advice, nor it was helping me. But hey, do tell.

Recently a person I follow on Twitter wrote that Twitter needs a rhetorical question font. He was getting a tad frustrated about getting responses to questions, which he meant to be rhetorical, and didn't expect or want to be answered. I'm sure he doesn't expect your insights on how to stop people from answering his rhetorical questions. So don't give them, pretty please.

I get it too. It's hard to sometimes know if a question is rhetorical. If asked you a question here, would you be compelled to answer it? Are you answering these questions right now, at least in your mind? It is easier to assess the difference between a rhetorical question and an "I want or need an answer to this", when you cannot hear the tone of the voice or see my facial or bodily expressions. You don't know if I'm actually asking for an answer, or if I'm just forming my thoughts in a form of a question. Then there's a great consensus that everyone online is always seeking for answers and in a need of guidance and information. And why not, since often it is so. Web has became search based. Web users are looking for answers to their various questions. For it is all information technology. You can even google for helpful articles explaining how to find answers online. The basic assumption is that what ever someone writes or says online, they are looking for your great and valuable advice on the subject.

It looks like many web users are getting done with the constant guidance. Buffer marketing team admitted they are losing social media referrals. Their helpful links on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and elsewhere are not getting clicked. There could be many reasons for it, but what if it comes down to the good old information overload? Too many answers to questions not asked. Too much data and unsolicited how-to is clocking your brains and you need to step back and look at the cat pictures. Is information becoming nuisance? News is bad for you is an old news. News interrupt thinking, block creativity and enhance the confirmation bias. Clearly any information, which pops on your timeline or inbox, does the same. There's always someone explaining how you are doing everything wrong.

As an example, Facebook is structured to show you what you should see. As a result it makes the updates you see feel personal to you. My post about having a headache, becomes you headache. You need to weigh in, let me know how you don't ever get headaches or what is the best way for me to soothe my pain. I know, most of the times you mean well. You want to help me with my headache. Yet, at the moment of having that headache, I might not be open for discussion about what I've done wrong by getting one. Clearly, since your encounter with your own head has been different than mine, you are doing something better than I am.

Web is not a place for a philosopher or a poet. "To be or not to be, that's not a question I want an answer from you!" Everything needs to be answered and everyone needs to be advised. The world will be made more coherent, you will be made more coherent. You must think as I do, I must think as you. Resistance is futile.

When your intention was just to let your ideas out without interruption, there's always a person feeding you their ideas and viewpoints as a response. Talking about your own experiences is an invitation to anyone tell you about their different experience, and how it's more valid than yours. Post a picture, and surely you get guidance of how to improve it. Make a mistake, and you will be corrected. "Actually," they begin, and as a result you will know better. You are forced to have conversations and you have hard time to walk away from one.

Answers are great, when you ask and need them. Not so much, when they are unsolicited and unhelpful. You are entitled to your opinion and that unlimited knowledge. I'm entitled not to be sanctioned to hear or read about it.

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Thank you for reading Be advised. I have closed the comments for now, but I welcome you to write your response to your own blog, or to voice them at Twitter or Facebook. In case you wrote your response on your blog, do let me know so that I can read it and possibly link to it from this post.

I will gloriously ignore (and, where possible, report) any responses which contain personal attacks, or seek to promote unrelated business or scams.

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Hei, I'm Mervi!

An artist, geek girl, marketer, and business coach, devoted to help you to be undeniable.

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