Honestly, you are rude

23.11.2010 - 18:45

Reading forums, some blogs, social media services like Twitter and comments on blogs can be pretty painful. Often there is at least one rude all knowing a-hole, who wants to ruin it for everyone else. Now please note I'm not saying it's wrong to know a lot about a lot. I'm just saying being rude is less than okay. Often these rude all knowing a-holes also like to say they are just being honest.


A funny thing about these honest ones is they usually can't take it when someone is rude back to them, or if someone is seemingly hurt. And they most definitely can't take constructive criticism.

Frankly these honest and all knowing a-holes may not be nothing but lazy. Constructive criticism is hard I admit that. And it's even harder to be constructive with 140 characters or less. And I also admit I have resorted of being short and snarky myself. Afterwards it doesn't feel so good and I tend to regret it. That's why I think some hide behind describing themselves as honest. They hope it would shut up those who might show them how they might be wrong about what they say or even upset them by being equally as "honest" towards them. Saying I'm honest, deal with it is just a way of protecting themselves from their own bad conscience and emotional responses.

Unfortunately the rude all knowing a-holes tend to be the noisiest online (and often offline too), or at least they seem that way. They usually have a lot to say and dare to say it because they know they can hide behind claiming that they are just honest. Also unfortunately these people and their not so well constructed opinions are often highly valuated. Maybe it feels like this person is so honest and knows what they are talking so well they are not afraid to say it as it is.

On television and movies many most loved and respected characters are honestly rude. The thing is that they usually have some sort of a reason for their bad behavior. Yes that doctor is an asshole, but he is in pain and has a limp. Or that guy says everything that comes to his mind, cause his brilliant and his wife and daughter were slaughtered by a madman. What these characters mostly really do is they use the snarkiness for not to have to deal with emotions and empathy. And the writers behind these characters use their sad backstory for justifying their actions.

When I hear or see someone telling they are honest and I just have to live with it I hear them actually say: "I'm lazy and mean and can't take it if someone points out my mistakes." Saying I'm honest and say what I think is not a proof of a person being right or even smart. It only proofs how rude, lazy and bad with constructive criticism they really are.

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Mervi's picture

I am Mervi Emilia, an artist and a web designer. I have been online since 1997 and making websites for 17 years. Besides web stuff, social media and marketing I like cats, movies and tea. Follow me at Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram and LinkedIn. Also like my page at Facebook.

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4 comments for "Honestly, you are rude"

Yolanda's picture
Yolanda, on , said:

I am agreeing with you 100%.

Mervi's picture

This also has a lot to do with online harassment, which has been slightly on frame during the last years. This sort of rude honesty is a form of harassment, which not everyone realizes.

Why is support more important than "constructive&am's picture
[...] When most think they are being constructive they end up being nothing but destructive. Being all "honest" and pointing out the mistakes or things that need improvement results in tearing apart, instead of building on. It's not honest, it's just rude. [...]
Why we really are so rude online | the tasselflower blog's picture
[...] who either clam up when they get an emotional response or just plain don't get it. Many of them think they are being honest and therefore have some sort of right to be [...]

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