I don't exist

May 06, 2010 · 1 min read

I don't know at which point this happened. A couple of years ago, if you made a search with my name, Mervi Eskelinen, it would have returned my site (the one that was here before) as the first hit. A couple of weeks ago I noticed my site was fourth or fifth on the list. So I decided now it's the time to stop stalling and launch the new blog. So I did. Nothing happened. I was still fourth or fifth. And the address was something like helmikuu.net/mervi/blog, which wasn't there anymore.

After some days I created a URL redirect from the non-existing blog-folder to the real front page. It seemed to be a mistake. The site vanished completely from the search. If you make a search with my name you will find some other people. Some, who most likely didn't even care about web back at 1998. Or didn't even know what it was.

A couple of hours ago my post How hard can it be was attacked by a flood of spam. Something about Canadian drugs. Besides the nice comments by a friend, Atso, spam has been most this blog has received during this short time.

For someone who has spent half of the time of their adult life online this all creates a bit of a crisis. Feels like I don't even exist anymore. I'm not there. In the eyes of most people roaming over web I don't exist.

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Thank you for reading I don't exist. I have closed the comments for now, but I welcome you to write your response to your own blog, or to voice them at Twitter or Facebook. In case you wrote your response on your blog, do let me know so that I can read it and possibly link to it from this post.

I will gloriously ignore (and, where possible, report) any responses which contain personal attacks, or seek to promote unrelated business or scams.

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Hei, I'm Mervi!

An artist, geek girl, marketer, and business coach, devoted to help you to be undeniable.

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